I have moved

I've decided to move this blog.

http://youmakemecringe.tumblr.com/

I'm sure my thriving fan base of one is greatly disappointed.

Nicola.

Then you wake up.
The girl of your dreams isn't mad at you, she doesn't even exist.
A figment of your imagination that has fucked off with as much rapidity as the ones that are real.
But you can't help but feel, if she was real, not just some assortment of various memories from some deep crevice of your otherwise defunct mind, she would of forgiven you by now, for whatever it was you did.
You have not been travelling on the night bus home, fighting with travel inspectors whose fists are easily twelve times the size of your head.
You are not a ballsy mother fucker who would fight with people who have fists twelve times the size of your head.
Soon reality sets in and the desperado/perfectly content person fades away, leaving this mere shadow of what happiness could be, but it isn't all bad, as you write anonymously to a readership of most likely less that one, pieces fall into place and there is some shred of hope for a half decent day.
Just don't fuck it up.
Don't panic.

.....that last part sounded like a trailer for a really shitty movie.

Vegan day

It was actually two days, but unfortunately, today's hangover took over and pizza and Yazoo milkshake were involved in the failure.
Even a little effort makes a difference though.
Back on the Vegan horse tomorrow, perhaps.

Walden

I've been reading Henry Thoreau's book "Walden."
It's a very interesting book with a LOT of points and issues that can be used for modern day, not just the mid 1800's.
I've been thinking a lot about it during my time reading the book and I may do something similar, not for as long, and to such a degree as Thoreau, but it would be an incredible experience.

It's been a while...

I've not really wrote anything on here for a while, mainly because I've been busy.
Lot's of interviews and gigs recently, I'll give an overall thing about them instead of one by ones.
The following bands and interviews were fucking awesome:
A Wilhelm Scream,
Rx Bandits,
Against Me!
El Morgan which also featured bands like Above Them and Chillerton, whose final show it was, all great bands.
Jonah Matranga,
Hot Water Music.

I also saw the Gaslight Anthem who I'm not massively into and after speaking to the lead singer, doubt I ever will be. I guess as soon as your known by Bruce Springsteen you automatically become a cunt.

Half Nelson

I watched the film Half Nelson again today.

It's about a crack addicted school teacher in an American ghetto.

It's a really good film and the first time I watched it I wrote some lyrics for the band I was in at the time, just thought I'd put them up here.

"What is this machine?

It's bringing us down, but hell,

We're all very much a part of it."

A belt around his chest,

Or so I imagine, the feel after each time he ingests,

Inhale. Exhale. Forget.

Inhale. Exhale. Regret.

"Change moves in spirals,

Not circles,"

When the mirror asks, "Can you live this lie?"

Until you're just ashes in the sky,

"There are no weapons,

There's nothing,"

So relieve by all means,

Just keep your hands waist-side.

"These are changes,

We can't control,"

Though there's others that we can,

Can you comprehend tunnel vision,

When you're a tunnel with no light at the end?

It's a cure for the itch,

An itch that started all of this,

Teach me, so I can teach you,

A mile-stone just to avoid just to avoid one more hit.

I'll probably edit this one day, I'm not really happy with all of it.

Headlines.

I think it was the SUN a couple of days ago.

What a shit paper right?

But every now and again you get some awesome headlines like "Model eaten by curry."

But this one was, "I saw Harpoon killer eat a dead rat."

What the fuck was this guy doing watching that?

Who needs to re-evaluate their lives in that situation, really?

Well, both really, but fuck it.

Paul Theroux

I read this a while back in the book "The Old Patagonian Express" which has been an amazing read so far.

"It was mainly, my other fear: the distortion of companionship. I did not want to see things with anyone else's eyes. I knew this experience. If they point out something you have seen already you realize that your own perception was rather obvious; if they indicate something you missed you feel cheated, and it is a greater cheat to offer it later as your own."

I doubt a lot of people would understand that.

23/05/10 - Alkaline Trio

So fucking hot today.

You think that but then you get down to the gig and the band is walking around wrapped up in their winter best, the U.K has no real idea of what heat is.

Our contact kind of fucked this one up, we were all set for our interview, but the promoter bitch, not being sexist she was actually a dick, wasn't having any of it.

Even if we weren't down on the list, there is no need to be a wanker about it, if that was my job I would of tried my best to set at least something up.

Luckily, a girl I've known for a good few years now has just started her own production company and was trying for a video interview and Alkaline Trio's drummer Derek, was cool for doing a quick 5 minute piece after the sound check.

http://moonandbackmusic.com/archives/2995

I didn't see the support bands, I've seen or heard both of them before, and they're really not my kind of thing. Maybe if I was a 14 year old school girl, I might be into them. I'm not.

Alkaline Trio played really well, they get slated a bit for their lives shows, but this was by far, the best I've seen them play.

After the encore, the band changed roles with Matt Skiba on drums, Dan on guitar and Derek on Bass for a cover of the Misfits song, Angel Fuck.

It was so insanely fucking awesome.

Our contact apologised for fucking it up, and has arranged a phone interview with the band for the 3rd of June.

18/05/10 - A Wilhelm Scream

Not much to say about the day.

Set up the interview, it wasn't a full band just with vocalist Nuno Pereira, who was a real fucking dude. Made our lives easier by making the interview hilarious and really relaxed.

http://moonandbackmusic.com/archives/2992

The gig itself was fucking insane, the support bands were okay, but none of them really did anything for me, it was all kind of, same old same old, straight up hardcore punk, there's nothing wrong with the bands, just nothing special, pretty generic.

A Wilhelm Scream absolutely torn the place up though, I've never seen a band play that hard ever.

One of the few bands I've ever watched who were genuinely loving what they do and having a riot doing it.

10/05/10 - Austin Lucas - Leeds

Good old Leeds hey?
Austin Lucas is playing tonight, and even though Darren Johns has pulled out, Lucas is more than enough reason to get on the train and watch a show.
We have an interview arrange with Lucas for around 4/5, nothing set in stone so we have a bit of wiggle room to have a look around.
Almost, didn't make it to Leeds, there must have been a platform change, or maybe I'm just a fucking moron, but somehow we ended up on the wrong train, getting off with just seconds before departure to Crewe.
I really enjoy this place, I don't know why, there's a university here and it makes me wish I'd have gone to study here instead of my one day stint in Staffordshire.
Found a really fucking awesome C.D shop in Leeds, with more Fugazi records than I knew existed. If we had enough time I would of spent a good couple of hours in there, I'll have to come back down sometime just for this place.
We decide to find the bar "Santiago's" where we went drinking last time we were in this city, after a while it's found, but closed, so no mid-afternoon drinks for us.
There is a really nice looking vegetarian restaurant here, but the prices are a bit much so I decide to leave that one for today.
A few texts and our duo becomes a trio. A friend of a friend kind of deal, but this girls pretty cool so it isn't an annoyance having her around.
The gigs at somewhere called "Royal Park Cellars" sounds nice right? It was in fact, the cellars of a pub called Royal Park, just outside of the town centre. We eventually find it, find the lovely Mr. Lucas and get down to the interview, which you can read here.

http://moonandbackmusic.com/archives/2961

It went really well, unfortunately, after the interview, which was weird seeing as it's usually beforehand, that mother fucker called anxiety kicks in, today it's more of a blurry head/vision anxiety which is annoying, but the fear isn't there, which is a massive relief.
I think that finally, I'm starting to get used to these interviews, even if it is only a little.
With a couple of hours to kill before the gig starts, the University gets a looking at. None of us are students at this particular university, not even our quote on quote guide for the evening.
It's weird, I don't hate Leeds, it's okay, even the university is looking alright, our cover is blown when it takes us about 5 minutes to work out how to open one of the doors in the building, time to leave anyway.
The gig was incredible, had a little chat with Austin again and he seemed really grateful for us taking an interest in him. The guy is such a talented artist.
Everyone who we saw play that night played really well, especially El Morgan, who seemed totally fucking stoked at my comparison between her and Ani Difranco.
We didn't get to see the final act, which for some reason wasn't Austin Lucas, as we had to get the train home.
It's such a fucking shame that people like El Morgan and Austin Lucas have to play pub basements for probably little to no money, while no talent pricks make millions by barely singing their songs.
Fuck that.
The trains delayed slightly but it's here soon enough.

An open letter to David Cameron

Dear Davey,

I was just wondering if we could arrange an interview, talk about your love of the Arctic Monkeys maybe, I'm not a fan personally, but that doesn't mean we can't have a polite chat.

Then maybe go for a drink after, I see you like Guinness, I'm vegetarian so I can't really drink it, it'd have to be a Jameson for me, maybe we could do a bit of karaoke, have a real good time.

If we're too skint after all our fun, we could share a cab, I'm not sure how close 10 Downing Street is to Kearsley, but we could arrange something I'm sure.

Even better, you could come to mine, we could have a sleep over.

Tell ghost stories and rate all the girls we've ever been with, just like the good old days.

In the morning, I could bring you breakfast in bed, egg and soldiers!

When you're all wakey wakey'd I'll walk you to the bus stop, hell, I'll even wait until the bus turns up, and just before you get on, I'll kick you in fucking dick.

New Ink.

Well not so much new, more added to an old tattoo.

It was a fucking shamble to start with but this guys has really made it look semi-presentable, so kudos to that mother fucker!

Southport - 27/04/10

Food, check.

Water, check.

Tickets, check.

Maybe it's just been so long since I've been with someone, since I got laid to be blunt, but everyone is starting to look attractive on this train. The generic "Unn Tiss" of shitty Rnb/Dance pop bullshit blares from the earphones of attractive lady number one sat in front of me. Tinnitus I'm sure. Spanish audio lessons should drown her out, hopefully soon I'll learn, "Turn that shit off."

I've been here about an hour now, there doesn't seem to be anything really to do, what a dump, that being said, I'm pretty damn happy, it's been a while since I hit the road with any real distance solo and I'm glad to be here, miles away, knowing no one, relaxed, well as relaxed as I can be, I'm still me.

I've found a lot of cool books in the charity shops; Hagakuri, the way of the samurai; Jarhead, a book about the gulf war from a soldiers perspective, if I said I wasn't a massive fan of the army, it'd be an understatement, but as a book, it's pretty good; and Celtic Britain, history just interests the hell out of me.

Sat on the beach eating, not much of a beach, can't see the sea and can barely even smell it, just water logged sand for miles. I suppose I can't blame Southport for England's dumb weather, fuck it, yeah I can.

Still got some food left but I'm pretty full, whoever said eating healthy doesn't fill you up is obviously some stupid fat fuck.

I climb a wall the up the pier side, when I get on the wall a nearby lady grabs her bad tight, do I really look that much of a bastard? From the end of the pier I can see Blackpool, I wonder if all seaside towns are as boring as Southport is today.

On the way back down there's a "Hall of Mirrors," but really, am I that immature?

Definitely.

I think these are really intended for kids, I don't look anything like the descriptions, "Proper Geezer," looks more like, "Wide Twat."

I think the only reason anyone comes to Southport is for the shitty theme park, which is closed, looks like something out of a zombie film.

After walking around a 2000 floor furniture shop and playing a broken piano, I decided to call it quits, so here I am, waiting for a train I'm not even sure is coming.

The most interesting thing I visited today was the eco centre, it had a picture of Southport submerged in water with the caption, "Do you want this to be Southport's future?"

Thing is, I kinda did.

Uncle Dodge

I found out today that, unfortunately, they have lost the baby.

An open letter to Argos Girl

Dear Argos girl,

I think your name was Amy, but I was so mesmerised by you, I didn't look at your name badge very long.

I have always been an advocate of women in the workplace, it is a very attractive quality, give me a lady in a Tesco tunic over a boob tube any day.

I hope one day I will get the balls to talk to you as a person, not just as a consumer talking to a worker bee, though I will remember my manners even when you aren't taking my cash for catalogue items.

Please, thank you.

I hope our conversations will stem into something far deeper than pleasantries.

......one day.

Group Therapy

I had my first group therapy session today, there's a lady who has had anxiety issues for about 15 years, this poor woman was sat there shaking the entire 2 hours, her husband had to escort her to and from the door.

Shit like that destroys me, she's totally immobilised by her own mentality.

It makes me feel like maybe my problems aren't anything to moan about, the anxiety kicks my arse a lot, but not like that, she seemed terrified to the point of insanity, I wouldn't be surprised if it was her first time out of the house in months.

The Wall

I watched "Run Fatboy Run" with Simon Pegg today.

It isn't a great film, I like him a lot, but this isn't his strongest work.

There's a part in the film where his body and spirit gives in on him, and apparently, in athletic terms, they call that "hitting the wall" so basically, the scene is, him hitting at this wall until it gives and he can carry on to his goal.

I think that is such an incredible metaphor for hard times in life.

Uncle Dodge

Today I found out I am going to be an uncle.

31/03/10 - The Lawrence Arms - Leeds

Typical start to a day like this, shit load of anxiety and bullshit like that.

Met up in Manchester before getting the train into Leeds, the ride there was pretty good, the anxiety was wearing away a bit, and yeah, was feeling pretty good.

Nothing major really happened in the centre, we found this Karaoke bar which had this like Chinese lager for like a quid twenty so started hitting that shit, this place had pictures of all famous musicians from Johnny Cash to David Bowie, so was pretty cool decor. A trip to the toilet nearly killed me, it was like the Crystal fucking Maze, you had to plan an hour in advance just to take a slash.

We get into the gig and find our guy, the guy who we arrange the interview with, he said he'll sort something for like mid support bands.

Say hi to everyone but Brendan, who isn't about right now.

As the gig goes on, the merch guy/tour manager becomes more and more evasive about the prospect of an interview, but we stuck at it, and finally got a ten minute quick one in a corridor whilst being hassled by the security for hanging around.

I haven't heard the audio, but apparently the guy who arranged the interview with us, Mr. so fucking evasive, is in the background referring to us as "those fucking dorks." What a piece of shit. I know, I can't do my job properly, I make promises that I clearly can't uphold because I am nothing more than a piece of shit, so I'll take shots at these kids who've travelled fucking miles for this because I'm a no life piece of shit who needs to put other people down to make up for my own short comings, fuck you.

Anyway.

After the gig one of the guys from the support bands invites out for a drink with them all, much to the displeasure of the giant crock of shit. But we go anyway, there's this fucking awesome bar that has loads of Chicago punk scene music playing, or did that night, might of been intentional, and we spent the rest of the night getting messed with the Lawrence Arms and shooting the shit about pretty much everything I could blab about.

In the morning.

I have never felt this rough ever, was it worth it?

You damn fucking right it was.